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3 Ways to Tackle Marriage Stress

October 27, 2023

by Cory Busse, Take Out: Family Faith on the Go

 If your marriage is anything like mine, there’s only one thing you can count on: perfect marital bliss 24/7! The upcoming holidays never add an ounce of stress to our Rockwellian portrait of the perfect, Catholic American family.

If you believe that, I have a flying sleigh I’d like to sell you. For the rest of us, here are three ways to turn some of the most stressful marital moments into opportunities for a stronger union.

1. Get Over It — There is very simple prayer that goes, “Greed, anger and ignorance emerge endlessly. I vow to end them.” Say this prayer together.

    It’s important to acknowledge the first part of the prayer. Greed, anger and ignorance emerge endlessly. Those attributes are a persistent part of the human condition, and there’s no avoiding them. After you’ve acknowledged that these vices emerge, work together on the second half of the prayer. End the miserly hoarding of wealth and compassion that can come with the holidays. End the anger at old hurts. End the ignorance of the needs of others at this most sacred time. Find examples of these vices in your own marriage, and vow to end them together.

2. Acknowledge Ambivalence — Ambivalence gets a bad rap, especially in marriage. Too often, “ambivalence” (having contradictory feelings about something) is confused with “apathy” (not caring).

As human beings, it’s perfectly natural to feel conflicted about parts of our lives. Even Jesus in the garden showed some ambivalence about his forthcoming crucifixion. We are programmed to believe, though, that ambivalence is wishy-washy. It is natural. Be gentle with one another in moments of ambivalence. While it is important not to become paralyzed by indecision, choices made in moments of uncertainty — especially when the choice is forced — can do a lot of damage to a marriage. When you’re uncertain: wait.

3. Play or Pay — My wife and I used to scoff at other couples who kept a “date night.” What kind of a healthy relationship has to schedule a standing appointment for fun? It was obvious to us that the spark and spontaneity was long gone from those marriages — that is, until we hit a really rough patch in our marriage. Each of us accused the other of taking us for granted. We never spent any “quality time” together. We were always working, or with the kids, or stressed out about a million other things.

We looked around at the couples who had been diligent about their date nights (those losers), and we realized they were, as we say in our house, “clam happy.” Make time for one another. Be intentional about your fun. You’ll be glad you did.


This content comes to you from Our Sunday Visitor courtesy of your parish or diocese.

October 27, 2023
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October 27, 2023
Lk 12:54-59 Just as you can sense a change in the weather by the wind and the clouds, so too, can you see the signs of the coming of the kingdom in the signs of the times. It is hypocritical to ignore or deny the obvious. Jesus tells the crowds that there is still time to repent. It is in these passages that we are reminded that your words are not meant to make us comfortable. They are meant to be a challenge. We pray for wisdom to know what we need to do and the courage to act. This content comes to you from Our Sunday Visitor courtesy of your parish or diocese.
October 27, 2023
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October 27, 2023
Mary recently shared an experience that touched her and another: “It was a simple thing. All I did was smile at a time when Connie needed to know she wasn’t alone. I saw her sitting by herself as I planned to run through, get my cup and be on my way. But Connie’s demeanor told me she needed something. So I stopped for a moment, said hello and smiled. She lit up! I asked how she is doing, knowing that things have been challenging at home, and she said she is taking things day by day. She thanked me for stopping by, and asked about my family. The whole exchange took only a few moments, but I am convinced it was time well spent, and now I think about it often. How many more times in a day might a simple smile and a few kind words make a difference for a friend, or a stranger?” This article comes to you from Grace In Action ( Our Sunday Visitor ) courtesy of your parish or diocese.
October 27, 2023
Lk 12:54-59 Just as you can sense a change in the weather by the wind and the clouds, so too, can you see the signs of the coming of the kingdom in the signs of the times. It is hypocritical to ignore or deny the obvious. Jesus tells the crowds that there is still time to repent. It is in these passages that we are reminded that your words are not meant to make us comfortable. They are meant to be a challenge. We pray for wisdom to know what we need to do and the courage to act. This content comes to you from Our Sunday Visitor courtesy of your parish or diocese.
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